Monday, June 14, 2010

I Took a Walk...

I took a walk in my mind today through a field filled with wildflowers, every color, shape and soft sweetness you could ever imagine. I stood and listened to the meadow, and I stopped and felt the earth, resting my face against it as it seemed to breathe in and out ever so sweetly. The earth breathed in and out and I listened to its beauty that surrounded me and let it delight my sight as I marveled in its glory.

I suddenly was a small girl again, with a dress so pretty and long, my feet were bare and my hair was long and golden as its ringlets cascaded down over my shoulders. I sat amazed and in a trance, and the more I studied this awesome transformation and reveled in it, laughter started to bubble up. It seems to be oozing from the earth, and floating up like bubbles and bouncing off of the branches and tops of tall firs until the air was filled with bubbles.

I felt such joy, such freedom and abandonment of self, and I started to run. And as I ran I thought, when was the last time I ran because it was fun. I started to hop and skip as I ran and as I did I again thought, when was the last time I hopped and skipped and ran because it was fun, and when was the last time it didn’t hurt to do so. When did I become so very numb to all the beauty and miracles that every day surround me?

As I ran, I started to laugh, and it bubbled and bubbled up inside of me until it spilled over and filled every single fiber of my being, I fell to the ground and laughed and cried and did so until such a spirit of contentment surrounded and covered me that I lay there in perfect peace with my maker, in perfect peace with His mighty creation, and I momentarily forgot what it was like to worry about life. What it was like to not worry if I am a good enough mom, or a good enough wife, a good enough child of God. Not to worry about how the next bill was going to be paid, or the cupboards filled with groceries, if I am enough for my children weak and human as I am, am I shaping them into children of God, or am I leading them farther from Him by my faults.

There are so many lies that the enemy thrashes us with every single day our lives on this great earth, why do we listen? If he isn’t able to get me to worry about my circumstance, then he tries to get me thinking about all my faults and shortcomings, my physical appearance, you name it, he tries it. Satan never cares how he gets me off track, just so long as he does. I am convinced that half the time he himself is surprised at how easy it can be.

So now I pray for peace to not only cover my heart and mind, but to keep it in Christ Jesus, that I may marvel at His goodness every day and never miss a chance to praise Him.